I was dead once. It was the oddest feeling in that it did feel any different that I feel right now.
For years I was dead, walking with other dead people, and talking with other dead people. Sometimes theses other dead guys would try to pass themselves off as alive. Some guys would wear cologne to mask the smell of death. Other guys would wear new clothes ontop of the old rags they where buried in. Me, I tried to find someone alive...just one person.
I looked for a long time. I saw a really good friend of mine get fooled. He thought he found someone alive but she turned out to be as dead as he was. He was so hurt that he aviods people that are alive. He is still dead in his grandmother's house.
I felt like a knight in one of those old stories, I was on a quest. The first thing I found was that those stories lied. You don't always get the girl and the knight doesn't always win. sometimes he get eaten up by the monster and then spit out. It happened to me a couple of times.
One day I found a girl and she was alive, but no matter how long I was with her, her "alive-ness" never rubbed off on me. I said all the things she said and did things she wanted me to do, but it never stuck. What was I to do...
One morning I woke up and did something I've never done before. I took a breath. I took it all in and let it all out. It hurt at first because I never used my lungs...I was dead. After breathing for awhile I notice that the world was differnt. I could tell who was alive andwho was still dead. I found a woman that was alive and life with her is great. I don't smell like death anymore and I was able to get some new clothes in to proccess.
I still feel hurt and I still feel pain. I still don't understand everything and some things have remained unclear. The difference is that now I'm alive and know what it means to live
