Fat Chickens and the Soft Parts of Your Body

Learning a foreign language is one of the most rewarding things that I have ever done. It also is one of the most frustrating experiences that could be wished on anyone. You see Chinese is a tonal language. That means that one word has four different ways of saying it. In many cases context determines what a word really means. Chinese has only 400 sounds in the entire language, compared to English’s 2000+ so you can imagine how often I say something wrong. In order to survive the roller costar of language study emotion some days you have to laugh at the mistakes. This is a list of some of the “better” mistakes that my friends and I have said over the last 2 years.

-While walking my dog I told little children that they could grind up my puppy instead of pet him.

-I said that I smelled my wife instead of saying I kissed my wife.

-My friend was speaking with a cab driver about getting tickets; he then told the cab driver that his France was very expensive.

-I was ordering food at a restaurant when I asked for safety eggs instead of quail eggs.

-I ordered the “smell of urine” noodles instead of a vinegar type noodle.

-One friend said he wanted to kill the waitress instead of saying thank you.

-Another friend wanted to comment on his teachers new hair cut and said he liked the soft parts of her body.

-One friend ordered human butt instead of pork ribs

-One classmate said he shaves his monkey every morning instead of shaves his beard.

-My mother said she came to China on a fat chicken instead of an airplane.

There have been many of these incidents, and if not for many gracious Chinese I might have given up a long time ago. I hope you all had a good chuckle.

This is Fatkid saying “listen to what I mean, not what I say!”